Zombies: Collect Four

Ryan, Elkus and I are starting to get bored when we hunt zombies.  What can we do to spice it up?


These things happen.  Zombies, for the most part, are very predictable.  Hence, you're going to get bored while hunting them.  Plus, the chances are good that you're not very up close and personal with these suckers so it can be a mundane task to pick them off from a sniper's position in a tree house.  Let's talk about some ways to make it more interesting.

1.  If life gives you lemons, launch them at zombies' faces.


Do huh?


Look, Elkus already has a homemade potato launcher... right?  Well, as it turns out, zombies tend to hate citrusy things.  So, instead of launching potatoes at the growling crowd of flesh-eaters, try launching some lemons, oranges, or limes at them.

You would think that you'd had sexual relations with the zombie's mother (Or father?  Depends on your sexual preference.  No judgement here.  Don't really know why you'd be having relations with a zombie's parent.  You're sick!) by looking at the face they make.  Plus, it's completely frickin' awesome to watch a lemon burst into pieces on a zombie's face.

2.  Make it into a game!


Remember playing 'Collect Four' as a kid?

Ryan, that's like asking me if I love 'Big League Chew' or if I like to watch turtle sex videos.

Of course you do... that game rocked every kid's world.  Well, think of the battle field as a big 'Collect Four' gaming device.  Whoever (between you and Elkus) can kill four zombies right in a row with four bullets wins!

What's the prize?


What are you... 7?  If you want a prize, go get a Happy Meal.  The prize in this game is:  you just killed four zombies.  Hence, saving lives.  Where's your chivalry?  Quit being a tool.

Good luck with your new twists on zombie hunting!

Stay safe and change your socks, especially if you're staying in caves a lot.  It can get damp in there and you don't want to get rot-foot.