After the incident at the barber shop, Elkus and Felton grew
close in their acquaintance, so far as to surpass a normal friendship. They quickly became brothers of the
non-relational type. Felton, as it
turned out, was from Rising Fawn, GA, which as we all know is just down the
road a bit from Toppersville, which the Bennermun family called home.
Not much could keep the brothers separated from each other,
especially during the summer in which Felton’s schools were out, and Elkus’
master elder was taking his routine tour of the other tree house communities
that were spread across the southeast.
In the summer of ’82, all was as it should be in the world, until Elkus’
7th birthday, and the course of his childhood was changed due to a
grave tragedy that his friend and brother, Felton, fell victim to.
All the children of the community had left their tree houses
and joined Elkus in the celebration of his 7th birthday, because as
we all know this is when the boys of Toppersville are awarded with their first
machete. It is a most special occasion,
in which no child can deny to attend.
The children were amidst a game of ‘Hide and Go Cornhole’ (not as risqué
as it might sound) when Maynard and Mayflower Bennermun called attention to all
the children. All watched with awe as
Elder Biskus presented Elkus with a cloth-wrapped object. Elkus pulled back the cloth and a smile lit
up his face as he inspected the freshly sharpened machete that was glistening
in the summer sun. If only he knew the
sadness that would soon follow, his smile would have disappeared without a
trace.
After all the children had finished inspecting the awe
inspiring piece of work that Elkus had received for his birthday, it was time
for the gathering to conclude. Felton
has previously been granted permission to spend the night with the Bennermuns,
so as soon as the rest of the children had vanished, Felton leaned in with a
sly smile and whispered, “C’mon, Elkus.
I don’t really think we have a choice in the matter. Let’s go split some pinecones with your new
blade.”
Elkus smiled and gave a single nod. Oh, the excitement that was flowing through
his veins as he sliced and sliced and sliced.
The machete and arm were as one, just as he was taught in his studies of
‘Machete Enlightenment’ from his master elder.
Felton watched and cheered, and every time the blade found
its target he would yell, “DADOOSH!”
Finally, Elkus lightly flipped the blade around, catching it
by its blade-end, and gently handed the handle to Felton. Felton immediately went to work, slashing the
blade about in ways that would make the master elder cringe, but Elkus enjoyed
watching his friend have fun. He really
didn’t care that Felton wasn’t enlightened in the way of the blade, he just
simply enjoyed his company.
Elkus heard a movement in the woods behind him and instantly
turned and found himself in a crouched defensive position. He watched silently and motionlessly into the
woods as his friend continued his clumsy blade thrashes behind him. He soon saw the origin of the sound, just a simple
fawn.
“Prolly just tryin’ to find your ma, aren’t ya?” He said to his friend of nature. Elkus gave the creature a curt nod and turned
back to face Felton.
Felton slowly turned to face Elkus, and Elkus’ eyes went
wide and he felt as he was in slow-motion as he raised his hands and began to
yell, “Nooooooo….”
Felton had put the machete in his pants, and had his hand on
the blade, but Elkus knew that Felton had no pants sheath in his pants. A grave mistake to be made, indeed. Felton, pretending to be a master machete-wielder,
jerked the blade out and quickly followed his motion with a high-pitched
scream. The scream ended abruptly as
Felton fainted and plopped on the ground with his unconsciousness. Elkus ran and slid in next to his friend, his
brother, and with no hesitation removed his pants to find the horror that
awaited him.
Elkus called all of his strength from within, and threw
Felton over his shoulders and ran as far as he could back to the Bennermun tree
house. He soon grew weary, though, and
had to lay his friend down in a bed of straw.
“Stay with us, brother.
I’ll getcha help. Stay strong,
stay with us,” he whispered into Felton’s ear before he took off with lightning
speed. He yelled at the top of his lungs
as he ran, ignoring the feeling of burning coals filling his lungs as he ran
out of air.
“HIS WILLIE! HE CUT
HIS WILLIE! HELP! WILLLLIIIIIEEEEE!!!!” he screamed as he ran
through the woods. He was soon met by a
girl that he had just seen not an hour before.
Pretty Christina Biskus, granddaughter to Elder Biskus, who
had previously presented the blade that had just sliced through his friend’s
penis. Elkus was just barely able to
explain to her what had happened through his short bursts of words, which were
repeatedly broken by his body trying to suck in air. Stupid
lungs, I gots more important things to do than breathe, he thought.
Luckily for them all, as the boys were taught the tricks and
magic of machete-use, the girls of Toppersville were taught to be craftily
clever in make-shift medicinal matters.
When they returned and found Felton where he had been left, they soon
realized that he had returned to consciousness.
“Elkus, did I cut my tally-whacker off?
Oh, God… please tell me I didn’t cut my ding-a-ling off.”
Elkus grabbed his brother’s hand as Christina quickly made a
bandage out of one of Felton’s socks and some duct tape. She stopped the bleeding and although it was
just barely attached, his friend’s penis was still, nonetheless, attached.
After Elkus had managed to get Felton back to the Bennermun
tree house, Christina and Mayflower took Felton in, and Elkus and Maynard
waited outside underneath the tree house together. Elkus was fidgety in his pacing back and
forth from tree to tree. Maynard did his
best to sooth his son’s pain, often offering sayings of comfort as, “Son, I’m
sure your friend’s johnson is going to be just fine. Ma’s probably one of the best in the state at
securin’ nearly detached peckers. And
young Miss Biskus seems to be helpin’ just fine.”
Nothing that his father could say to him could ease the pain
or the guilt. The guilt is what was
driving him to the point of losing his sanity.
It was his blade, and his own foolishness for ignoring his friend’s use
of a deadly weapon. He should have paid
closer attention, he thought. He had
made up his mind, he was to put his blade down to rest, and never pick it up
again. He would pursue a life of peace,
and do whatever in his means to make it up to his friend for this great penile
misfortune.
As he paced back and forth, praying for his friend’s crotch,
Christina gracefully slid down the rope to face Elkus.
She caught her breath, gazed deep into Elkus’ eyes, and
said, “We saved your friend’s nether-piece.
He’s gonna be fine. He don’t need
to touch it or play with it for a few months, but it should be fine.” Elkus threw his arms around Christina and
thanked her over and over for the kindness she had shown. He, of course, didn’t feel her heart
fluttering as he showed his appreciation.
Elkus, although wise for his age of 7, took no notice of such attention
from others. The only thing he cared for
at that moment was his brother’s trouser snake.
He left Maynard and Christina and practically flew up the ladder that
was nailed to the tree to see to his friend.
After Felton reassured Elkus that his willie was going to be
fine, Elkus took his machete, cleaned the penis blood from the blade, wrapped
it in its original cloth cover, and secured it under his mattress. He would begin his walk to find other
enlightenments, never to take the way of the blade again… or so he thought.
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